tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29478879918916103882023-11-15T10:43:37.132-08:00The Blog You're About To ReadI'd be friends with me.*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-25422917876638474052013-02-20T18:24:00.000-08:002013-02-20T18:29:57.645-08:00Week 9.Dear Noelle,
You are two months old already! I know, I know. I can hardly believe it myself. You're exhausting at times, but you are also perfect and beautiful and the love of my life. I'm so lucky to have you. You're such a daddy's girl. Not only do you look exactly like him, but you completely light up when he's around. He takes such good care of you and is crazy about you. You've started to "talk" to us a lot more these days. You've got some great stories to share. Know what else you have? Dimples! I'm not sure where you got them from, but they are off-the-charts adorable. Your Uncle Chad has dimples; maybe you got them from him. What a gift! Your eyes are so big and blue. You're still working on the whole hair- growing thing, but you're cute enough to pull off the bald look. (Not many of us are, trust me.) You're doing great at holding up your head, & we'll probably try out your Bumbo seat soon. You're a champ at eating and are now up to 9 pounds, 9 ounces. You've also grown a couple inches since you were born. Going to be tall like your daddy, I'm guessing. You and I struggled with feedings the first couple of weeks, but now you love nursing so much that you absolutely refuse to take a bottle of any kind. I'm thrilled that we're able to exclusively breastfeed, but weaning you is very possibly going to be a nightmare when the time comes. We'll figure it out, though. You're an awesome sleeper and sometimes go 8 whole hours without waking! Although on those nights, I've been up every hour anyway, making sure you're still breathing. I'll work on that. You're super smiley and have started to mimic what your dad and I do when we're holding you. For example, the other night I had you on my lap and was stuffing my face with popcorn. Dad started laughing because you were staring up at me, chewing away on your tongue. We're going to have to watch everything we do and say, because you're going to be soaking everything up like a little sponge. Let's see, what else? You enjoy baths a lot more than you used to, but you hate getting dressed afterward. (I'm the same way, don't worry.) We also suspect that you may be teething already, because you have recently started drooling like crazy and are constantly chewing on your little hands. But you don't cry very often, so maybe that's not it. We're so blessed to have you as our little girl. I can't wait to watch you grow and spend every day loving you. We adore you, Turtle Dove! You're the best surprise we ever could have gotten. ;-) Every day with you is a miracle.*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-59157597715867839362013-01-08T12:03:00.000-08:002013-01-08T12:03:43.701-08:00Noelle Christine WolfordWell, our little one finally came to hang out with us! My doctor offered to induce at 39 weeks, but I couldn't bring myself to do that until we were at least to our due date. So she ended up being born on her actual due date, which is pretty awesome. Labor was... interesting, to say the least. I slept about 2 hours the night before. My excitement/anxiety levels were through the roof. We ended up getting the okay to head to the hospital around 9:30AM. My awesome aunt, Karren NOEL, was our nurse and got us all settled into our room. It was the same room we had stayed in 16 weeks earlier when we had our preterm labor scare. I glanced over at the little bassinet in the corner and felt so grateful that this time, there would be a healthy, full-term baby placed in that crib when all was said and done. Karren got me all hooked up to the monitor and put my IV in. By then, my mom had showed up. Joey was, as always, so amazing and never left my side. In fact, he wouldn't even eat because I wasn't able to have anything but ice chips. (Which I did not ask him to do, of course- I wanted him to eat!) He is just so sweet and too good to be true. We started the Pitocin at 11:00, and it didn't take long for the contractions to become regular & strong. They took quite awhile to actually hurt, though. Karren said I could get the epidural as soon as I wanted, but I decided to wait until I really needed it. If I had it to do over again, I may have agreed to it a lot sooner. Anyway, the doctor showed up and broke my water at about 2:30. Contractions got pretty painful soon after that. I waited until about 4:00 to tell Karren I was ready for the epi. By then, I had experiencd quite enough of the contractions. The anesthesiologist was very nice. I told him I had scoliosis, and he said that it shouldn't be a problem. Not long after getting the epi, I couldn't feel my legs, and that really freaked me out. The relief from the contractions was well worth it, of course. But not being able to move my legs scared me. I thought of the many paralyzed patients I'd had while working as a CNA, and I just can't believe that some people have to live like that permanently. Strong, strong people. I couldn't do it for even a few hours. Anyway, I quickly started getting feeling back on my left side. I could feel the contractions, move my legs, everything. We had the anesthesiologist come back in to kind of "fix" the epidural. Not sure what he did exactly, but it made me super dizzy & nauseated. I still felt way too much on my left side, and every time Karren checked me for dilation progress, it hurt BAD. I started getting really scared, realizing that at this rate, I would not be numb for the delivery. I'd heard so many of my friends tell me, "My epidural was so awesome, I couldn't even tell if I was pushing or not! Labor was a breeze; I felt nothing." Well... this was not my experience! (We later found that the epidural had been put in "crooked"- probably due to my crooked spine. Explains a lot.) Soon my fear of the pain was somewhat pushed aside, as the "baby shakes" started. I'm still not sure whether they were caused by the epidural or labor itself, but they scared me so bad I sincerely thought I was going to die. I couldn't get my body to stop shaking uncontrollably. Karren hooked me up to oxygen and flipped me over to my left side, as the baby's heart rate was dropping. I just held Joey's hand and cried. I was miserable, but at that moment, I didn't care if I died- I honestly thought I might- as long as they got Noelle out safely. Her heart rate stabilized, thank the Lord! Things got a tiny bit better after that, just because Karren reassured me that the baby looked great. We tried upping the epidural again, but it quickly became apparent that it just wasn't going to do me any favors. All I will say about the actual delivery is that it was the hardest thing I've ever done, I didn't know it was possible to feel that much pain, (I pushed for an hour & a half and felt everything) and there is no way I could have done it without Joey, my mom, and Karren coaching me through the whole thing. My doctor helped, too. ;-) I will never forget the support they all gave me, and I feel like we all got Noelle here as a team. I will never, ever forget that moment when the doctor put that beautiful, screaming, goopy baby on my chest. She is perfect. I love her more than I ever knew it was possible to love. The past 9 months have been the most difficult of my life. (So have the past 3 weeks!) Getting her here was the hardest, scariest thing I've ever done. But yes, I would do it all over again for this sweet angel. I'd do anything for her. Even as I sit here writing this, so sleep deprived my eyes are crossing, I'm overwhelmed with gratitude because I have a healthy baby in my arms. Noelle is finally here... and she has saved my life.*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-52506623742176236712012-11-17T14:01:00.001-08:002012-11-17T14:01:59.448-08:0035.4The first thing our doctor said to us at our appointment on Wednesday was, "You made it to 35 weeks! Your baby will be going home from the hospital with you." Obviously, there aren't any guarantees, but at this point, NICU time would be unlikely. The best part is, we should be able to do skin-to-skin contact as soon as she's born! Earlier preemies need to be immediately rushed to the NICU, but at 35 weeks, as long as she comes out screaming, (which she should) they'll be able to lay her right on my chest when she comes out. I've read up on how beneficial that is for babies, and it must be so scary to be born. I just want her in my arms as soon as possible. So I'm incredibly grateful to be at such a safe point, although I really want her to stay put and grow for a few more weeks. The longer, the better! I do have a feeling it may happen sooner than later, though. When the doc checked me today, she immediately said, "Wow! Her head is... right there." Which I already knew, because sometimes it feels like she's just going to fall out of me. Lovely, I know. Let's hope it doesn't happen exactly like that. I've also had some pretty intense contractions lately, but luckily they are few and far between. Even though I'm off bed rest, it hasn't been much different. Joey still won't let me do much; bless his heart. He is determined not to let this little girl show up too early. I am so spoiled by that man. He loves me and our baby so much. I could not have found a more loving, responsible, amazing guy to spend the rest of my life with. When I imagine him taking care of our daughter, I get teary-eyed. I always told myself growing up that when I did finally have kids, I wanted their dad to be just as amazing as my dad is. I grew up with the greatest dad imaginable, and I am overjoyed to know that Noelle will have that same blessing. Her daddy is incredible. Not to mention, a saint for putting up with my mood swings. Speaking of which... I LOVE being off Nifedipine! I absolutely love it. I truly think that medicine has had a lot to do with why I've been so miserable the past couple of months. Constant headaches, chills, hot flashes, insomnia... the past two nights of sleep have been the best I've had in months. I feel so much better emotionally, as well- almost back to my regular self! Nifedipine turned me into a beast, but it also gave our angel 11 extra (crucial) weeks of growth. So as much as I hated those pills, I will also forever love the darn things for working so well. 31 days- or less- until we meet our little princess. We love you so much, Noelle! See you soon. =)*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-29673568654871817702012-10-24T18:01:00.000-07:002012-10-24T18:01:51.255-07:00Survey says...It's a pregnancy survey! I found it on a bed rest website. Enjoy if you wish. =)
{How far along} 32 weeks, 1 day.
{Total weight gain/loss} 23 pounds. I was only mildly horrified when I stepped onto the scale at my doctor's office this morning.
{Maternity clothes} Both my mom and Joey's stepmom have been angels and taken me on maternity shopping sprees... however, most of those clothes were more summer-y than winter-y, so I get cold very easily now while wearing them. I guess I didn't realize I would be hugely pregnant during the winter months? In any case, I also didn't anticipate being on bed rest for the last few months of my pregnancy, so now more than anything I just wear Joey's sweatpants and jackets. Or my Snuggie, which I finally busted out today. The good thing about most of my maternity clothes, though, is that they're cute enough that I'll totally still wear them postpartum. Especially the skinny jeans with the amazing waistband... you can't even tell they're maternity unless you pull my shirt up over my belly, and why bother with buttons and zippers if you don't have to? I may never go back!
{Stretch marks} Yes, but oddly enough, not on my belly. I've gotten a few on my hips, but they're really not that bad.
{Sleep} Couldn't possibly be worse; I dread it every single night. (See my most recent, total Debbie Downer post.)
{Best moment this week} My doctor telling me that I'll be off bed rest at 35 weeks instead of 36- and the statistic she gave me that most babies born at week 35 and up get to go home right when their mommy does. Awesome! We can totally make it 3 more weeks.
{Movement} It's no secret that I am not a person who enjoys pregnancy, but that is the one thing that I absolutely love and will miss about being pregnant. Every time she moves, I can't help but giggle like a little girl. It's just such a strange- but awesome- feeling.
{Food cravings} Basically anything unhealthy that I probably shouldn't be eating. Slurpees, popsicles, puffed Cheetos, Dr. Pepper, Cafe Rio. Don't worry, though. I don't just feed my baby crap. In fact, I now eat more apples and bananas per week than I ever have in the past 26 years. Barney would be proud.
{Gender} Girl.
{Labor Signs} Well, I've been dilated and having contractions for 2 months now, but this past week contractions have been virtually non-existent! Such a relief.
{Belly Button in or out} Still in. Although you should see the scar from my belly-button piercing which I took out years ago. Not exactly attractive.
{What I miss} Not having to drink water! I despise water, but I need to get at least 64 ounces a day. Human contact. Going to the store or on walks. Working. (Certainly not at the job I most recently had, just working in general.) Being able to sleep. Iced coffee. My sense of humor. Balanced hormones. Actually being happy and not just anxiety-ridden all the time. The only thing that has been able to temporarily pull me out of my black cloud of sadness and anxiety is watching old episodes of "the Office" on Netflix. Something about that Michael Scott... Joey and I fully expect our daughter to come out humming the show's theme song. But you know what? All of this is so incredibly worth it. The past 7 months have been the hardest of my life, but I have a feeling they will seem like nothing once I finally have this perfect little human in my arms. So no more complaining!
{What I am looking forward to} 35 weeks! (Which I will reach the day after my birthday.) Our family dog, Boozer, coming to stay with us for about a week. (Also happening around my birthday.) Thanksgiving! (And reaching 37 weeks, which is happening a few days afterward.) Celebrating Christmas, which I've already started doing. And finally- meeting this beautiful little girl after a year and a half of pregnancy! It truly has lasted at least that long in my mind. (I think the whole bed rest experience counts as an entire additional pregnancy.)
{Other Updates} Contractions just started up again. Good thing I have a pill for that!
*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-86135035485356424652012-10-19T15:58:00.000-07:002012-10-19T20:07:29.159-07:0031.3It's funny that I literally have all the time in the world, and yet I still don't blog very often. Oh, well. I guess the biggest thing to report is that Joey & I are now officially engaged! It certainly wasn't done the traditional way; we ordered the ring online since I'm on house arrest, and we've been practically engaged ever since we found out we were going to be a family. Even though it wasn't a surprise, it was still very special. I truly couldn't be luckier! The wedding itself won't be until next August or September. By then, my little brother Ryan will be home from Denmark, and Noelle will be old enough for us to leave with Grandma & Grandpa for a night so we can do a mini-honeymoon. Oh, and that'll give me time to lose this lovely baby weight I've been packing on. Fitting into my wedding dress and actually feeling pretty will be a definite plus. Speaking of positive things, in 4 days we will officially "qualify" for delivery at LDS hospital! (They can't deliver preemies under 32 weeks there.) So on Tuesday, I'll breathe my biggest sigh of relief yet. In about 2 weeks, we'll stop anti-contraction meds. 4 weeks, I'll be off bed rest. And 5 weeks- full-term baby! I know I can survive one more month of bed rest. At least, I hope I can. When I first received my "sentence", I thought, "This won't be bad at all! I literally am under doctor's orders to be lazy." It was nice at first, I'll admit. However, I reached my breaking point just this past week. When Joey is home, I'm fine. He is my best friend and always makes me laugh. The problem, though, is that he is a server and works nights. So we hang out together all day, then he is gone from 3-11. Those are my "dark hours". In the good old days, I could nap like a pro. Now that all I do is sit around 24/7, it's next to impossible to be tired during the day. In fact, all of my 1st and 2nd trimester fatigue has been replaced with 3rd trimester energy. Which is highly ironic, considering I'm not able to do anything with it. If I could, I'd just sleep away the hours that I'm alone. But sleep is far from my friend these days. I dread it even at bedtime when I actually am tired. I hate having vivid dreams every night, especially since they're never good ones. I have restless legs and can't take Melatonin for them. RLS is torture, and I am not exaggerating about that. I also can't ever sleep for more than two hours at a time because that is how often I get up to pee, and it takes me a good 20 minutes to get back to sleep after each bathroom trip. Everyone says, "Enjoy your nights of uninterrupted sleep while you can, 'cause you won't be getting any sleep once that baby comes!" Oh, please. My sleep is interrupted at LEAST ten times a night already by my overactive bladder, restless legs, squished lungs, scoliosis-plagued spine, & the pills I have to take 'round the clock. And none of those things are remotely cute. A screaming, poopy baby would be music to my ears right now, even at 3:00AM. Obviously, I'll probably be eating my words in a couple of months. I've never been a mother before, so I can't say how I'll handle it. But at this point in time, I just want her in my arms so badly, I'm probably not thinking very rationally. This entire post has been nothing but rambling and complaining, but I needed to get it out. Being cooped up all day every day is taking its toll. Not being able to contribute to society or really be productive at all is taking its toll. The pregnancy depression I've been suffering from for the past 7 months is taking its toll. (That's a very real thing, by the way.) I'm just glad the end is in sight. I know it will all be more than worth it. Some days are just harder than others. This would be one of those days. I'll end this with an excerpt from Dr. Seuss's "Horton Hatches the Egg":
{Sighed Mayzie, a lazy bird hatching an egg:
"I'm tired and I'm bored
And I've kinks in my leg
From sitting, just sitting here day after day.
It's work! How I hate it!
I'd much rather play!
I'd take a vacation, fly off for a rest
If I could find someone to stay on my nest!
If I could find someone, I'd fly away- free..."}*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-22204291336725041202012-10-10T13:29:00.000-07:002012-10-10T13:29:44.356-07:0030.1We made it to 30 weeks! Not without a few bumps in the road, though. Last weekend we took another trip to the hospital. I had been feeling contractions on and off most of the day on Saturday, but by 9:00PM, they were actually starting to scare me. (Painful, etc.) I called Joey and my doctor. Doc said to go to Labor & Delivery. Joey rushed home from work and we got to the hospital pretty quickly. Of course my contractions slowed way down as soon as they got me hooked up to the monitor, so I felt like the girl who cried wolf. But it's so much better to be safe than sorry. We ran some test, including the fFN test, which is incredibly painful and I hope to never experience again. Anyway, that test came back positive, which is a little scary. (It has something to do with the presence of amniotic fluid in the test swab and indicates a possibility of delivery in the next two weeks.) I'm not a doctor or anything, but I do have one, and she tells me that the test can have false positives. So that makes me feel better about things. Luckily, this last hospital visit only lasted a few hours. So that wasn't terribly fun, but you know what was? Last Tuesday, when my mom & I went to get a 4-D ultrasound of the baby. Joey isn't really a fan of the 4-D pictures, so we went while he was at work. However, he seemed to change his mind as soon as my mom sent him one of the pictures after our "session". He loved the pictures and now has one of them set as the wallpaper on his phone. We're so in love with this baby and can't wait to hold her. (When she's full-term & ready to come out, of course!) While I was getting the ultrasound, as exciting as it was, my mom and I kind of felt like it was torture to see that beautiful chubby face and not be able to smother it with kisses. Let's hope these last two months fly by! (Yeah, right.) We had another check-up today and decided that we don't really need to do any more non-stress tests, as the baby is extremely active and I am FINALLY able to feel those movements regularly. Only took 30 weeks! I'm pretty convinced that I have the world's most anterior placenta. Case in point- at our last NST, the baby was so active that she wouldn't even stay still long enough for the nurse to monitor her heart rate. Yet I could hardly feel her myself, even though I was watching her squirm around like crazy on the ultrasound screen. Crazy stuff. My doctor also told us today that once I get to 34 weeks, I can stop taking the anti-contraction pills every six hours, which will be so nice. They also apparently won't try to stop labor after week 34. Although I will still be on bed rest until 36. But after that, it's fair game. I'd much prefer she stay in until at least 37, but once I'm off restrictions, it's likely she'll show up pretty quickly. So I guess we have yet another countdown- 6 weeks! In some ways, I feel like I've been pregnant my entire life. Truly. But in other ways, I just can't believe that we're almost to the finish line. Oh, life. What a journey.*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-84351504101436428092012-09-28T16:38:00.000-07:002012-09-28T16:38:41.504-07:00A root canal & non-stress tests.28.3! We hit our first big goal Tuesday- 28 weeks. It's been a month since I went into labor the first time, and we're still hangin' in there. Earlier this week, we experienced the worst night's sleep of this entire pregnancy so far- thanks to one of my bottom molars which was being eaten up by a nasty cavity. Now, I've had some terrible tooth pain in my day. Despite my love of milk, I have incredibly weak teeth. Just like my daddy! It's pretty safe to say that every one of my chompers has had at least one cavity over the years. I really do brush and floss my teeth, I promise. In fact, I'm pretty obsessive about flossing. But try as I might to take care of them, they're still a bunch of weaklings. Oh, well. Weak or not, I'm glad to have them. They come in handy from time to time. Anyway, I kind of went off on a tangent there. My point was that I've dealt with severe tooth pain before, and it's the worst kind of pain... to me, anyway. But in the past, I was always able to pop an extra-strength Advil if I had a cavity that couldn't be filled for a few days. Now the only thing I'm allowed to take is Tylenol, and Tylenol really doesn't do ish. So I was in excruciating pain from about 11:00 PM to 7:00 AM, when it finally subsided a bit. Poor Joey couldn't sleep knowing I was in so much pain, so he had to go to work the next morning like a zombie. Luckily, I have an awesome sister-in-law who happens to be a dental assistant. She set me up with a last-minute appointment at her office to see what was going on. So I went in for that yesterday. Turns out, my tooth was so infected that we had to do a root canal. I've had root canals before, but this was by far the worst. Even with 4 shots, I still felt way too much of the whole procedure. To top it all off, I have a pretty severe case of "pregnancy brain", so when the dentist asked me if I wanted him to write a prescription for Lortab or Percocet to deal with the pain of the aftermath, I said, "Oh, I'm sure I'll be fine. I have Tylenol if I need it." Well, I guess in my mind I was thinking that I've had cavities filled before without any pain afterward, so what's the big deal? The fact that I'd just had a ROOT CANAL and not a regular old cavity filling seemed to have been lost on me at the moment. Needless to say, last night was another interesting one. But Cherish came to the rescue again and got the prescription called in first thing this morning, so my mouth finally doesn't feel like someone is mercilessly taking a hammer to it. I hate taking any medicine while pregnant & especially don't enjoy the side effects of Oxycodone. But it's perfectly safe and I'm not in (much) pain anymore, so I consider that a win-win. Another thing we did today was have our first of many non-stress tests at the hospital. Basically they just monitor Noelle's heart rate and movement to make sure everything is going smoothly. They also monitor contractions, and I didn't have a single one the whole time we were there! Very good news. Just a little over 8 weeks until this baby is full-term. My doctor still thinks she'll show up early, all things considered. As long as we make it to term, I'll be ecstatic. In any event, I'll be a mom in about TWO MONTHS. I still don't think I'll believe it until she is in my arms. I dream about her every night. In fact, I've been dreaming about her since I was 12 years old. And in a matter of weeks, those dreams will actually be coming true. "Is this real life"? Yes... yes, it is. =)*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-88897821531732061032012-09-18T18:48:00.000-07:002012-09-18T18:59:16.851-07:00Perspective.Today was a rough one. Being broke is stressful and scary, and Joey kinda has the weight of the world on his shoulders these days. The hardest part of being on bed rest is not being allowed to help out in any way anymore- I'm not bringing in any money, I can't pitch in with housework or cooking, (not that I've ever been much help in the cooking department) and while I'll admit it is nice to literally be ordered to just relax, it also makes me feel incredibly guilty. I feel like I'm just this blob on the couch making no contribution to anything whatsoever. BUT of course, that is not the case at all. I'm growing a baby, and that's pretty dang important. I'm truly grateful to be able to do so. Anyway, Joey had a particularly bad day at work and so when he got home, he vented to me for a bit. I guess you could say we both had a bit of a pity party for a minute. Meanwhile, the TV was on Sportscenter and they were doing a spotlight on this amazing 18-year-old who was born physically & mentally handicapped, who was able to overcome the odds and run on his high-school track team. In the first scene of the spotlight, it showed him struggling to put batteries into a toy firetruck. It took a few tries, but he did it. Joey and I just stopped and looked at each other, as if to say, "Wow. We're sitting here complaining about our money problems, and look what this kid goes through every day." I think we needed that little reminder of how lucky we truly are. Yes, we're already in crazy debt with hospital bills and lately it's been a struggle to even buy groceries. But we are in good health, the baby is in good health, and we have each other- not to mention amazing families who stand by us. I had another wake-up call just a few minutes after this, as I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and saw a status update from one of my former patients at the hospital. This patient is a beautiful teenage girl who two years ago was in a car accident which left her paralyzed from the neck down. Her status update? "I may not be able to walk, but that does not mean I cannot chase my dreams." And here I am feeling sorry for myself because I'm going to be on bed rest for the next 10 weeks. How lucky am I?! In a few months, I get to walk around all I want, care for my baby, and get back to normal. So many of my amazing former patients will never have that freedom. They inspired me then, and they inspire me now more than ever. It's true what they say about gratitude. Being grateful is the only surefire way to be happy. And I have so very much to be grateful for.*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-77286013360885019752012-09-13T20:02:00.000-07:002012-09-13T20:02:40.407-07:0026.2 (And comments!)Well, another day down! We got our second round of steroid shots today. They're supposed to help tremendously with lung development, preventing brain bleeds & intestinal infections, (two very common preemie issues) and in general they just up her chances of surviving and eventually thriving if she does show up early. The shots went right into my hips/butt and stung quite a bit, but weren't nearly as bad as I expected. So there's that. Now... comments!!! Since we don't have an actual working computer here at our house, I've just been blogging from my iPad. Which is why I can't figure out how to do cool stuff like making paragraphs or posting pictures. It is also why I just figured out a few minutes ago that I had 7 comments awaiting approval! I was so excited to see them and to know that a few people actually do read this thing. To Alli, Mandy, and Mary- thank you so much for the comments. I feel bad that I didn't see them until now. Alli- I am so excited for the arrival of my 3rd GodDaughter. Cannot wait to see how adorable she is! Mandy- I love you and Tegan to pieces, and miss seeing you both at work. Mary- I did not even remember that Maddie was born so early! She is so smart, beautiful, and well-adjusted, you would never even guess it! Anyway. You're all wonderful, and I'll keep the updates coming. Until next time! Oh, P.S. I'm still planning on naming the babe Noelle, (Note that the spelling has changed. I don't want people thinking it's pronounced "Noal.") but Joey is still pretty set on the name "Jaycee." He has an uncle named Jay who he is close to, so the name has special meaning to him. And don't get me wrong- it's a cute name, and I like it. But my heart is still set on Noelle. I guess we'll just have to see what she comes out looking like to know which name suits her best.*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-36324663834262774702012-09-11T18:49:00.000-07:002012-09-11T19:12:29.754-07:0026.0Now that I quite literally have all the time in the world, I thought it might be a good idea to write about our unexpected hospital stay a week and a half ago. It all started on Wednesday, August 29th. I was at work, and started to feel some cramping. Nothing painful, just uncomfortable. But when you're 24 weeks pregnant, any amount of cramping is unsettling. Luckily, I was kind of an "extra" staff member that day. All I had to do was give some of the girls their lunch breaks, then I could go home. So I got home around 3:00, right as Joey was leaving for work. Since the cramps were just uncomfortable and not painful, I wrote them off as Braxton Hicks and just laid down on the couch for the rest of the night. I was watching the Republican National Convention, and the cramps got a bit worse. (Nothing but a coincidence, I'm sure. Haha.) I had a bit of anxiety, but I've been such a nervous wreck this entire pregnancy, I told myself I just needed to calm down and that everything was fine. Once Joey got home from work, I felt much better. This next part is probably considered TMI, but nobody really reads this blog, so I'm okay with it. Anyway, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling as though I had peed my pants. Well, I didn't. But there was clearly something going on. I immediately pulled out my doppler to listen to the baby's heartbeat and make sure she was okay. (Yes, I spent $60 on one of those things, and it's possibly the best investment I've ever made. For peace of mind, I'd be willing to pay a lot more.) Well, since the baby was fine and I wasn't feeling any more cramps, I decided to try to get some sleep and call my doctor first thing in the morning. I called & let my boss know what was going on, called the doctor, (or her nurse, rather) and she told me to go straight to Labor & Delivery in case my water had broken. I surprisingly wasn't scared, but I think that's because I was in shock. Our pregnancy had been incredibly uneventful up until this point. Once at the hospital, I changed into a gown and got probed for awhile. Not fun. I knew the nurse would have to be "up in my bidness" to see what was going on, but she also had a young, male intern shadowing her that day. Joey wasn't a huge fan of that! I'm going to keep some gory details out of here, but suffice it to say that my body was doing things it should not have been doing until December. Prepping itself to deliver a baby, only 16 weeks too soon. At this point, I was hooked up to a machine that monitored both the baby's heart rate and my contractions. Even though I was feeling absolutely nothing, apparently I was contracting pretty consistently. My doctor came in and checked everything out. Given the fact that I was in preterm labor, she told me that we'd be staying overnight for observation, and from there on out, I'd be on strict bed rest. I could feel my blood pressure go up right then and there- we're barely making ends meet with both of our paychecks combined; how were we going to survive if I'm not bringing in any money? Luckily, I am starting a family with the most amazing guy in the world, who seemed to read my mind and immediately told me not to even stress about money issues. "I'll do whatever I need to take care of us; you just focus on our baby." I sure am one lucky son-of-a-gun to have found Joey. I really am. He never left my side while we were in the hospital. I know he was scared, but he put on a brave face for me. I didn't have much anxiety during our hospital stay, despite what we were there for. I think the fact that we had nurses and doctors surrounding us made me feel that everything was going to be okay. Knowing that the babe was constantly being monitored made me feel so much better about everything. Oh! And my water had NOT broken. That's kind of important. Anyway, we were discharged from the hospital the next morning, and so far- so good. As good as things can be, given the circumstances. I'm on medicine to stop contractions, but am still having them from time to time. This week has been so much better than last, though. The first few days after the hospital, the contractions were still pretty bad. My doctor is more of a realist than an optimist, which I actually appreciate. She's had premature babies herself, so she knows her stuff. Also, she's a doctor. Anyway, we've set two major goals with her. The first is to make it to 28 weeks. If our princess were born now, she would live- but she would be in the NICU for months and would be so sick- it would be heartbreaking, and her mama is not strong enough to watch her go through that. So she's definitely NOT allowed to come out anytime soon. Once we hit 28 weeks, the risk of neurological problems goes way down. So that's our first goal. Our second goal is 32 weeks. The doc says that babies born at 32 weeks & beyond will probably only spend a month or so in the NICU, and by the time they are a year old, will be catching up on their milestones and thriving at a very similar rate of babies born full-term. So those are our baby-step goals. Only 2 more weeks until we reach the first one! I still am hoping for a miracle- that I'll be able to keep her in until her due date, and maybe even longer than that! I'm probably one of the very few people who would be just fine with being overdue- although that wouldn't be the case had I not gone through this whole experience! As scary as it has been, though, I'm glad it happened. Because now instead of wishing my pregnancy away and just wanting it to be over with- which was exactly what I was doing a few weeks ago- now I'm just so grateful for each day that I get to keep my little girl growing inside me. I'm SO incredibly excited to meet her, but I won't say "I can't wait" anymore. I can. =)*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-35788556856048744462012-07-28T17:32:00.000-07:002012-07-28T17:32:57.437-07:00My man.[What is his name?]
Joseph, but you can call him Joey.
[How long have you been married?]
We are not! However, we've been living in domestic bliss (or sin, or whatever you want to call it) for a few months now.
[How long did you date?]
I guess we're technically still "dating", although it sounds weird to put it that way. Anyway, we met a few days before Valentine's Day and have been together ever since. We never did the "just friends" thing.
[How old is he?]
27.
[Who said "I love you" first?]
He did.
[Who is taller?]
He is much taller than I.
[Who eats more sweets?]
He used to. Now that I'm pregnant, we're about even.
[Who can sing better?]
Haha, definitely me. Although he sings more often...
[Who is smarter?]
We both border on genius.
[Who does the laundry?]
I do mine, he does his. Although he sees it as wasteful to not just pile it all in there at once. I guess I would feel weird having anyone else wash my underwear.
[Who pays the bills?]
I pay my bills, he pays our bills.
[Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?]
Depends on whether you're facing the bed or in the bed... he sleeps closest to the door.
[Who mows the lawn?]
He is doing that right now, actually.
[Who cooks dinner?]
Me, cooking? Now, that is funny. Joey is an awesome cook, though.
[Who drives?]
When we're going somewhere together, he always does.
[Who is more stubborn?]
We both have our moments.
[Who kissed who first?]
I kissed him. He had been trying to do so all night, but I could tell how nervous he was. So I just did it for him!
[Who proposed?]
We're not technically engaged, but he has asked me if I will marry him someday. Which of course I will. Just focusing on one major life change at a time, is all. =)
[Who has more siblings?]
I have 6 more siblings than he does.
[Who eats more?]
He does, even with my growing appetite.
[Who wears the pants in the family?]
Joey does! I can't even fit into any of my pants anymore. ;-)*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-24355145126656939232012-07-07T16:57:00.000-07:002012-07-07T16:57:07.328-07:00And her name shall be...Noël Christine Wolford.
(This is not 100% official, as I am still trying to sell her dad on the name. But I trust he'll come around.)*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-74079664911672215782012-06-26T19:49:00.000-07:002012-06-26T19:49:46.472-07:00We're baaack! (Awesome dinosaur movie.)It's funny that my most recent blog post- which wasn't very recent at all; over a year ago- is titled "My Babies", and referred to my favorite little humans. Sweetly ironic, because in about 6 months, I will be meeting my very favorite little human of all time- my beautiful baby girl. =) A little over 4 months ago, I met a very handsome boy named Joey. Let me tell you, love at first sight does exist, because it happened to me. Joey is my best friend and the love of my life, and I'm lucky enough to be bringing a miracle into the world with him by my side. Last year, I had truly come to terms with the fact that I would probably be single for a very long time, and that if children did come into my world, it wouldn't be anytime soon. Well, as they so often say happens, as soon as I stopped looking for it, I found it. I never in a million years would have been able to predict what my life would be like at this moment. But things happen for a reason, and I believe that people come into our lives when we are ready for them. I've never felt more blessed, and I'm just so happy that God is trusting me with one of his angels. Being pregnant has turned me into a pretty sappy person, but I'm okay with that. And don't fret, because I'm still hilarious and humble. (And to the dismay of some, my crude sense of humor isn't goin' anywhere!) Some things never change. ;-)*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-48979520098261990732011-05-26T17:48:00.000-07:002011-05-26T19:57:06.054-07:00My babies.<span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">Hello, Readers! (All 5 of you.) The rumors are true; I am, in fact, still alive. Today I had this crazy idea to blog, so... here we are. Today is a happy day because one of my best friends gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Now, anyone who knows me at all knows that I have wanted to have kids since I was a kid myself. I've always been a mother at heart- I guess that's what happens when you are the oldest of 10 children. I always give my 12-year-old brother a hard time when he asks my mom to make him a sandwich or get him a glass of water. "Are you KIDDING me?! Boy, when I was your age, I was changing your diapers! Make yourself a sandwich!" =) I know that once I find a guy who I like enough to marry, I will, and I'll have babies of my own. He's got to be out there somewhere, right? Until then, though, I get by with a little help from my friends... most of which have darling little kiddos who I just love. I actually have four "godchildren" now. (I know, I know- you're supposed to be Catholic for that. But hey, it still works.) I have decided it's high time to dedicate a post to my little munchkins. Warning: you are about to experience a cuteness overload. Proceed with caution.</span><br style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><a style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);" href="http://s25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/?action=view&current=Sam.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/Sam.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0"></a><br style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">Samantha~ Sam was my very first "godchild." My amazing friend Alli brought this beautiful girl into the world 5 years ago, & I still remember holding Sam at the hospital for the first time like it was yesterday. She will always have a very special place in my heart.</span><br style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><a style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);" href="http://s25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/?action=view&current=Ava.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/Ava.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0"></a><br style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">Ava Belle~ Ava is Alli's second baby, and as you can see, she puts the Gerber baby to shame. She is a year old now, so this picture is pretty outdated, but it's my favorite picture of her. I don't see Ava as often as I'd like to, but I am hoping this will change once Alli & Davin move back to Bountiful. =) I love this pretty little girl to pieces!</span><br style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><a style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"href="http://s25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/?action=view&current=Tristan.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/Tristan.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0"></a><br style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><br />Tristan~ One of my best friends, Manda, brought her 3-month-old baby boy to the daycare I worked at back in 2008. That's actually how I met Manda, and my little love, T-Man. I was lucky enough to be able to take care of T at the daycare until he was a year old, so I got to watch him grow up. I am absolutely in love with this little man. He will be 3 years old in a few months, and I can hardly believe how fast time flies.<br /></span><br style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><a style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"href="http://s25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/?action=view&current=Audrey1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/Audrey1.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0"></a><br style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><br />Today's birthday girl, Audrey~ This gorgeous baby showed up just this morning- Manda's second baby. I won't meet her until I go to the hospital tomorrow, but I cannot wait to hold her. You did good, Manda!</span><br style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">So there ya have it, my four adorable godchildren. I'm a very lucky Auntie to have all of them in my life.</span><br style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><a style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);" href="http://s25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/?action=view&current=Tegan.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/Tegan.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0"></a><br style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">And of course I can't forget Miss Tegan! She isn't my "goddaughter," but she sure is one of my favorite kids ever. I spent some quality time with Tegan last summer while I babysat her for Mandy. My siblings adore her, as do I. She and Tristan had lots of fun playing together, as well. Mandy, you know that whenever you need a sitter, I'm the one to call! =)</span><br style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><br style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">Well, I hope you made it through the wall of cuteness. I really am going to try & blog more. So stay tuned!</span>*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-34542015062514494582010-12-08T03:01:00.000-08:002010-12-08T04:36:44.153-08:00A throwback to the Myspace era.What's your favorite name for a girl?<br />Peyton. One Tree Hill almost ruined that name for me, though, because that character was awful.<br /><br />What's your favorite name for a boy?<br />My first son will be Cohen. 2nd son, Charlie. And no way will I ever allow them to watch the shows that the characters they are named after are in.<br /><br />Have you read Twilight?<br />I read Twilight, and I liked it... but not as much as Cherry ChapStick. Really though, I made it through the 2nd book in the series, then I just got bored.<br /><br />What does your car smell like?<br />Cherry... ChapStick.<br /><br />Have you ever eaten a marshmallow burnt?<br />Who doesn't love a roasted 'mallow?<br /><br />Do you have a gerbil?<br />Even better. A dwarf hamster.<br /><br />Are you afraid of airplanes?<br />Nope.<br /><br />What gives you goosebumps?<br />Goosebumps books.<br /><br />Whose your favorite character on TV?<br />Sweet Dee. Was this question even necessary?<br /><br />favorite song?<br />"Not Afraid"- Eminem<br />"If I Die Young"- the Band Perry<br />"When I'm Gone"- Eminem<br />"The Good Stuff"- Kenny Chesney<br />"Beautiful"- Eminem<br />AND pretty much every other Eminem song... I've always loved him; can't help it.<br /><br />Do you like ice cream?<br />Sometimes.<br /><br />What is your least favorite movie?<br />Why would I bother remembering something like that?<br /><br />When do you think the world will end?<br />Soon, hopefully.<br /><br />Do you live in the moment?<br />I live by the hour.<br /><br />Do you consider yourself tolerent to others?<br />I discriminate against people who can't spell or use proper grammar. Other than that, I'm pretty forgiving.<br /><br />How long does it take you to shower?<br />Half an hour.<br /><br />Do you...?<br /><br />Smoke?<br />Nope.<br /><br />Do drugs?<br />Only heroin, and only on Thursdays.<br /><br />Go to church?<br />Not so much.<br /><br />Sleep with stuffed animals?<br />Harold.<br /><br />Talk to people even if you hate them?<br />Ever had a job?<br /><br />Believe in premarital sex?<br />Is that like believing in Oprah? Then yes, I definitely do.<br /><br />Want to get married?<br />Eh, it'll happen.<br /><br />Want to go to college?<br />Tried that once.<br /><br />Want to have children?<br />Much more than I want to get married.<br /><br />Like coffee?<br />It's delicious. I am a sinner.<br /><br />Wear makeup everytime you go out?<br />I wear makeup even when I'm not going anywhere. I like to look good; sue me. Or something.<br /><br />like roller coasters?<br />More like love.<br /><br />Like to cook?<br />I've done it a few times.<br /><br />Have you ever...?<br /><br />Been out of the country?<br />One time.<br /><br />Been in love?<br />Two times.<br /><br />Gone skinny dipping?<br />Sadly, no.<br /><br />Had surgery?<br />Only dental.<br /><br />Played strip poker?<br />Didn't get very far.<br /><br />Been on stage?<br />Oliver, Oliver...<br /><br />Pulled an all nighter?<br />More like an all-weeker.<br /><br />Gone one day without food?<br />Easy.<br /><br />Slept all day?<br />Even easier.<br /><br />Kissed a stranger?<br />He wasn't that strange.<br /><br />Had a dream that came true?<br />Tess.<br /><br />Broken the law?<br />Aplenty.<br /><br />Stolen anything?<br />I stole 11 gumballs from Ryan a few months ago. Maddie knows about this. She was my accomplice.<br /><br />Been on radio/tv?<br />Kid stuff.<br /><br />Bungee jumped?<br />Gross.<br /><br />Had a dream that kept coming back?<br />All too often.<br /><br />Shopped at Abercrombie and Fitch?<br />No, but that LFO song is amazing.<br /><br />Broken a bone?<br />Fractured a wrist. Does that count?<br /><br />Been to a theme park?<br />Lagoon & Disney.<br /><br />This or That<br /><br />Pepsi or Coke:<br />Pepsi.<br /><br />McDonalds or BUrger King:<br />BK.<br /><br />Chocolate or Vanilla:<br />I've always been attracted to black men.<br /><br />Burgers or Hot dogs:<br />Well, now I feel like this survey is getting a bit inappropriate...<br /><br />is the glass half empty or half full:<br />Always full of somethin'.<br /><br />romantic comedy or thriller:<br />Horror.<br /><br />waffles or pancakes-<br />Waffles.<br /><br />First thing you notice about the opposite sex?<br />Their face.<br /><br />Right this moment...<br /><br />What are you wearing?<br />Clothes, mostly.<br /><br />The Last...<br /><br />Movie you watched:<br />Saw 3-D. Awesome, in case anyone was wondering.<br /><br />Movie you rented:<br />Nobody does that anymore.<br /><br />Book you read:<br />"the Help." Great read, by the way.<br /><br />Person to call you:<br />The only calls I get are either from Mom or work. Everyone else just texts.<br />= )<br /><br />time you wore a skirt:<br />It's been far too long. I live in scrubs.<br /><br />Your favorite:<br /><br />Color:<br />Blue.<br /><br />Candy:<br />Starbursts.<br /><br />Pizza topping:<br />Pepperoni.<br /><br />Fruit:<br />Watermelon.<br /><br />TV Show:<br />It's Always Sunny & SVU.<br /><br />Holiday:<br />Christmas.<br /><br />Number:<br />11.<br /><br />Sport to watch:<br />Basketball.<br /><br />Flower:<br />Do not have one.<br /><br />Aren’t thunderstorms awesome?<br />They certainly are.<br /><br />Do you like expensive things?<br />They're okay.<br /><br />Why do you smile?<br />Because I have an amazing one... or so I've been told.<br /><br />Do you like taking pictures?<br />NO.<br /><br />Are you happy you are alive?<br />I'm pretty stoked about it, yeah.<br /><br />What or who makes life worth living?<br />My family, cute babies, & our patients at the hospital.<br /><br />Do you think you are a nice person?<br />Too nice, most of the time.<br /><br />Do you like swimming?<br />Favorite thing in the world.<br /><br />Have you ever swam in the ocean?<br />A few times.<br /><br />Ever climbed rocks?<br />Yep.<br /><br />Was it fun?<br />It was terrible. Whoever thinks hiking is fun needs to be kicked in the head. By a rock.<br /><br />Name someone you miss really badly:<br />Seaners.<br /><br />Have you lost any one close to you?<br />Yep.<br /><br />Ever witnessed some one dieing?<br />Yep.<br /><br />Do you have a job?<br />Yep.<br /><br />Do you like it?<br />If I didn't love it, it wouldn't be my job.<br /><br />Do you have any animals?<br />One hamster. I raised her myself.<br /><br />How many windows are in your room?<br />Uno.<br /><br />Have you ever online dated?<br />Hell, no. Forgive the language.<br /><br />Do you like bulldogs?<br />Not really. Everyone says they're so cute, but ugh... I don't see it.<br /><br />Do you like classical music?<br />I like it about as much as my mom likes rap music. = )<br /><br />Have you ever dated 2 people at one time?<br />I like to keep it at 3 or 4.<br /><br />Have you ever sniffed someone's hair secretly?<br />No, I have never been a rapist.<br /><br />Will you tell your friends to do this survey?<br />Wouldn't dream of it.*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-75889858472032493322010-11-19T22:27:00.000-08:002010-11-22T00:50:23.199-08:00Good Morning, Campers.Some days I think to myself, "I really should blog more. I'm just too busy to find the time." Other days I think, "I really should blog more. I just don't have anything to blog about." Yes, it's true- my life is pretty effin' busy. I spend most of it at work. But I also don't have a lot of life-changing announcements or updates, so I feel like there isn't much to say when I post. At the end of the day, though, it just feels good to write. So I'm going to make a true effort to do so more often. If it's boring, who cares? It's still better than nothing. Right? Right.*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-68563595210151148962010-10-04T00:40:00.000-07:002010-10-04T00:45:21.213-07:00Done, Dude.<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">I have a whole bunch of my friend's blogs bookmarked- or, at least, I DID- but then I realized that I could free up a whole bunch of space on my computer by only reading "Seriously, So Blessed." It's honestly just the same crap anyway. Have a super awesome day, Girlies! </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">Ugh, you're so annoying.</span>*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-5560093838839006542010-09-06T03:19:00.000-07:002010-09-06T03:36:39.262-07:00Good.<span style="font-family: arial; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">I realized something tonight... it's all good. This is a phrase I use quite often, but more out of habit than anything else. I never really stop to think about what it means. But tonight, as I was getting ready for bed- or contemplating getting ready for bed, rather- I just had a feeling of peace. No real reason for it. It was just a good feeling. Almost like a little sigh... a good vibe passing through, if you will. But it stuck with me. Life is alright right now. I have an amazing family, good friends, an awesome job... and the feeling that even more good things are coming my way. This is weird for me, because everyone who knows me knows that I am much more a "realist" than anything else. I've been through some rough times, especially during the past few years. Peace isn't a feeling that I've been terribly used to. I've learned to hope for the best but expect the worst. Which is fine. I mean, it works. But I think I could get used to this new hopeful feeling. Maybe it's not such a bad thing to hope for the best and-GASP- also expect the best. I feel like I'm definitely willing to at least give it a shot.</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">= )</span>*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-32692595485428618192010-07-31T19:52:00.000-07:002010-08-01T02:26:47.948-07:00I've been Incepted.<span style="font-family: courier new; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">So I FINALLY saw Inception the other day. I tend to steer clear from overly-hyped films, for the most part. But I do love Leo, and I also happen to have a major weakness for Joseph Gordon Leavitt. I knew I owed it to both of them to see this movie. And just as everyone said- it was amazing. Probably the best movie I've seen in years, and coming from me, that's a pretty big statement. But I didn't just love this movie because it was amazing. I loved it because I'm a big dream person. Not necessarily by choice, but I am. Ever since I was a little girl, I've always remembered my dreams. Almost every single morning of my life, I've been able to recount the dream I'd just woken up from in vivid detail. Now, at first, this was cool. It was entertaining to see what my mind would come up with while I was sleeping, and everyone got a kick out of the wacky things that ran through my subconscious every night. But before too long, I started having nightmares. Those are not so fun. I spent many a night sleeping on my parents' or my brothers' bedroom floors, because let's face it- when you wake up from a nightmare, the scariest thought in the world is the idea of going back to sleep in a room by yourself. Luckily, the nightmares became a lot less frequent as I entered my teen years, and by the time I was in high school, I hardly dreamt at all- well, okay, everyone dreams, but I was fortunate enough to not remember my dreams for a time, and therefore was able to enjoy virtually dream-less sleep for a few years. The nightmares started coming back only a couple of years ago, but they got worse. They progressed into what are technically known as "night terrors," which are much more intense than normal old nightmares. I know this for a fact, because I would wake up from them shaking, crying, screaming, gasping for air- and always in a cold sweat. This is some scary stuff; definitely no picnic. The fact that I am an insomniac to this day is certainly no coincidence. It got to a point where I was too afraid to go to sleep, so I just wouldn't let myself. I've stayed awake for days at a time, just so that I wouldn't have to dream. I took Melatonin for awhile to try and doze off at night, but it only worked for so long. I then resorted to asking my doctor for sleeping pills. But I hate sleeping pills. The hours of sleep that I get after taking a sleeping pill are never of any quality, and I always wake up feeling as tired as if I'd just woken from a nightmare, so it's kind of a lose-lose situation. I've come to realize in the past few years how valuable sleep is, and I envy people who can just fall asleep whenever they are tired, and wake up feeling refreshed. Anyway, about a year ago, I started seeing a therapist so that I could either obtain sleep medication, or somehow figure out how to solve this night terror issue once and for all. Turns out, this therapist had a daughter who also suffered from night terrors, and he introduced me to a process known as "lucid dreaming." It took some practice, but I am happy to say that I am now able to not only realize when I am dreaming- but I can also force myself to wake up from even the most terrifying nightmare. It's not easy; the only way I can describe the feeling is that it's as if I am walking on a bridge that is being smothered in quick sand, but if I concentrate hard enough, I KNOW I can make it across, and always just in the nick of time. The human brain is amazing, and the fact that I can have so much control over my own mind even when I am ASLEEP- well, that's just straight-up remarkable! The entire time I was watching Inception, I kept thinking, "Holy crap, this is lucid dreaming at its finest!" Not only was the movie incredible because of the storyline and the amazing acting, but also because it was all about techniques I have been practicing for months now. It got me all excited, which may or may not suggest how pathetic my life is right now, but whatever. Still pretty cool. The point that I'm trying to make here is that Inception was awesome, and if you haven't seen it, you need to go see it. Well worth the 6 bucks, to say the least. The End.</span>*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-33419508792902700352010-07-29T23:46:00.000-07:002010-07-29T23:56:08.016-07:00Hmmm.<span style="font-weight:bold;">So... I put a tracker on my blog, just to see how many views it gets. Apparently, a lot more people check in here than I would have thought. Which is both completely okay and flattering, but I must say that I'm a bit confused. If people are looking at my blog this often, why are they not commenting? Or should I say, why are YOU not commenting? Yes, you. Validate me, tell me how awesome I am- give me something! I know you're reading, so you may as well praise me while you're at it. I don't mind at all. Also, I have a few friends who keep blogs, and I love reading them and commenting on them. But I have noticed as of late that I am not listed in their "Blogs I Stalk" list. Not a single one of them. Not. ONE. Really, guys? Are you not allowed to add me to your official list because I don't have a cute husband to write about or darling babies to post pictures of? Are you ashamed to admit that you follow my blog?! I just feel I deserve some recognition, that's all. I mean, that's what a blog is for... right?</span>*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-27664385990053511832010-07-10T16:23:00.000-07:002010-07-10T16:55:39.567-07:00Tess Colette.<a href="http://s25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/?action=view&current=TessErin3.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/TessErin3.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">I realized today that I've never actually put up photos along with any of my posts. So I decided to switch it up this time. And what better way to do that, than to dedicate a post to my baby sister, who also happens to be the most beautiful kid in the universe. Tess joined our family 5 years ago, but I can't even remember what life was like without her. She is a miracle and a blessing, and we adore her- and spoil her- like crazy. But look at that face; how could anyone not? Even though Tess is 20 years younger than me, she and I still have so much fun when we hang out and have "sister time." She's so smart, funny, & stinkin' adorable, it blows me away most of the time. And she's a total Dunshee; she's got the same goofy sense of humor as the rest of us. Not a day goes by that I don't think about Tess's birth mom, and how much love I have for her. She made an amazing, selfless decision, and gave our family the most amazing gift anyone can give. I would love to meet her one day, give her a huge hug, and just thank her. Although we could thank her a million times, and it still wouldn't be enough. Adoption is such a beautiful thing, and I have an incredible amount of respect and love for all birth mothers. I wish I could hug them all! Anyway, I sure do love my little sis. She's one of the greatest blessings in my life. I thank God every day for this sweet girl.<br />= )</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://s25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/?action=view¤t=sweettess.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/sweettess.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://s25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/?action=view¤t=Tess1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c93/Dunsh/Tess1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-88908133283379470962010-06-23T23:21:00.000-07:002010-06-23T23:27:33.004-07:00Super.<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:verdana;" >I realized the other day, that I am not even old enough to legally rent a car... aw, see? I'm still just a baby. Suck on THAT, Utah!</span>*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-39653879473564703692010-06-15T09:53:00.000-07:002010-06-15T10:05:26.006-07:00More CNA Shiz.<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-family:arial;" >Well, I passed the written exam, and just took the skills test earlier today. Won't know whether I passed until they mail me my result in 5-10 days. Seriously, who uses snail mail these days? Oh, well. I guess it's time to start the official job search, which is probably my least-favorite pastime.... ever. There's just something so demeaning about the whole job-hunting process. I'm definitely not a fan. But I'll survive. I always do, somehow or another. I'm very excited to finally be able to use my CNA license, though. Doing something that you love and getting paid for it; that's the American dream, right? Or something like that. Anyway. That's all I've got for now. I have a good feeling about where things are going for me, though. I do eat success for breakfast, after all.<br />; )<br /></span>*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-42134553035517796272010-05-21T03:03:00.000-07:002010-05-21T03:28:59.995-07:00How 'bout that?<span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">Just got a semi-job offer. I am excited. At first, I was hesitant to work at a retirement home, only because I've heard horror stories about employees who abuse the residents. I know it happens, and it breaks my heart to think about. </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">But that shouldn't stop me from accepting an offer from such a place. I feel like if anything, I do need to take that job. If only to make one person's life a bit easier. I bawled my eyes out after my first day of clinicals, but it was only because I absolutely fell in love with the people that I was able to help that day. That's how I know this is what I should be doing.</span>*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947887991891610388.post-89497815456622578372010-05-20T16:42:00.000-07:002010-05-20T16:44:59.257-07:00Thought of the day.<span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">I'd like to thank the "Hoarders" marathon on A&E for giving me the motivation to FINALLY clean and organize my closet.</span>*Erin*http://www.blogger.com/profile/06472969564765045533noreply@blogger.com0