31.3

It's funny that I literally have all the time in the world, and yet I still don't blog very often. Oh, well. I guess the biggest thing to report is that Joey & I are now officially engaged! It certainly wasn't done the traditional way; we ordered the ring online since I'm on house arrest, and we've been practically engaged ever since we found out we were going to be a family. Even though it wasn't a surprise, it was still very special. I truly couldn't be luckier! The wedding itself won't be until next August or September. By then, my little brother Ryan will be home from Denmark, and Noelle will be old enough for us to leave with Grandma & Grandpa for a night so we can do a mini-honeymoon. Oh, and that'll give me time to lose this lovely baby weight I've been packing on. Fitting into my wedding dress and actually feeling pretty will be a definite plus. Speaking of positive things, in 4 days we will officially "qualify" for delivery at LDS hospital! (They can't deliver preemies under 32 weeks there.) So on Tuesday, I'll breathe my biggest sigh of relief yet. In about 2 weeks, we'll stop anti-contraction meds. 4 weeks, I'll be off bed rest. And 5 weeks- full-term baby! I know I can survive one more month of bed rest. At least, I hope I can. When I first received my "sentence", I thought, "This won't be bad at all! I literally am under doctor's orders to be lazy." It was nice at first, I'll admit. However, I reached my breaking point just this past week. When Joey is home, I'm fine. He is my best friend and always makes me laugh. The problem, though, is that he is a server and works nights. So we hang out together all day, then he is gone from 3-11. Those are my "dark hours". In the good old days, I could nap like a pro. Now that all I do is sit around 24/7, it's next to impossible to be tired during the day. In fact, all of my 1st and 2nd trimester fatigue has been replaced with 3rd trimester energy. Which is highly ironic, considering I'm not able to do anything with it. If I could, I'd just sleep away the hours that I'm alone. But sleep is far from my friend these days. I dread it even at bedtime when I actually am tired. I hate having vivid dreams every night, especially since they're never good ones. I have restless legs and can't take Melatonin for them. RLS is torture, and I am not exaggerating about that. I also can't ever sleep for more than two hours at a time because that is how often I get up to pee, and it takes me a good 20 minutes to get back to sleep after each bathroom trip. Everyone says, "Enjoy your nights of uninterrupted sleep while you can, 'cause you won't be getting any sleep once that baby comes!" Oh, please. My sleep is interrupted at LEAST ten times a night already by my overactive bladder, restless legs, squished lungs, scoliosis-plagued spine, & the pills I have to take 'round the clock. And none of those things are remotely cute. A screaming, poopy baby would be music to my ears right now, even at 3:00AM. Obviously, I'll probably be eating my words in a couple of months. I've never been a mother before, so I can't say how I'll handle it. But at this point in time, I just want her in my arms so badly, I'm probably not thinking very rationally. This entire post has been nothing but rambling and complaining, but I needed to get it out. Being cooped up all day every day is taking its toll. Not being able to contribute to society or really be productive at all is taking its toll. The pregnancy depression I've been suffering from for the past 7 months is taking its toll. (That's a very real thing, by the way.) I'm just glad the end is in sight. I know it will all be more than worth it. Some days are just harder than others. This would be one of those days. I'll end this with an excerpt from Dr. Seuss's "Horton Hatches the Egg": {Sighed Mayzie, a lazy bird hatching an egg: "I'm tired and I'm bored And I've kinks in my leg From sitting, just sitting here day after day. It's work! How I hate it! I'd much rather play! I'd take a vacation, fly off for a rest If I could find someone to stay on my nest! If I could find someone, I'd fly away- free..."}